How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
