at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
