You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
