i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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