escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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