..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
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I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
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Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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