bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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