Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
