ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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