I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
