Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
They should really pass out barf bags in church
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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