if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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