btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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