Who did Billy Mays play for?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
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I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.