If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet