why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???