I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.