How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
naw, they were rude, not me.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.