you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you would pick up someone in the library
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
