I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize