He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
