I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
