Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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