We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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