Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
