Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
