we're blogging at a bar
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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