Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
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Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
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There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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