Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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