It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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