I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
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Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
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I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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