Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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