so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize