you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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