You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
