Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
