just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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