i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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