Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
