I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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