I think my vagina is haunted
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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