I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
