Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.

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(949): View more from California

i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.

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(239): View more from Florida

i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass

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(408): View more from California

we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.

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(276): View more from Virginia

I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...

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(301): View more from Maryland

Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.

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