Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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