I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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