also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize