just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
