this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did