so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
