I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
