He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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