You work out of a Hotel?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
