Porn is love you can see.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
