i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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