I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
