Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This is my gift to your gina
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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