too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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