Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
