It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
