I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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