I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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