His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
