she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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